My experience is coming from an alcoholic home and ending up with C-PTSD. I experience a few highs but many low points in life. This man & his family are toxic. I have terrible times at school and I have no friends to be there for me. Truth. Their overprotectiveness affects me in all areas of my life I can't associate with ppl, I can't make friend even in the choir, ppl say I'm rude and lack manners but I don't understand hw. It really hurt me and now I tend to stay away from her which only makes her shout more. All my parents care about are grades. Question: Why do my parents always scold me about my scars when I'm trying my best to remove them? My parents are all of these, which caused me to be suicidal since I was literally a child (I started thinking about it when I turned 8 I think). (I am also more fair skinned than anyone in the family but I look just like my dad who is the one I get my fairness from, mind you. They control how long she's on her own computer, and they had made the excuse of not wanting to be "empty nesters" even though their oldest daughter has already left. Question: I feel like my parents do not trust me. I'm in my late 20's and still trying to get through life. Parents must realize that children are individuals & that they DON'T OWN their children. Take care~, About 80% kids face these problems in India. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. It is extremely saddening that parents always think that they are doing the right things from 1-10 and are ignorant of the psychological effects that will forever imprint on the child future and well being. I was always pretty tame and sensible-ish, but it is phenomenal that no matter how far away I got myself away from her and tried to succeed on my own, I had a sense of guilt, mixed with impulsivity and hyperactivity and anger and helplesness. I knew that my mam wasnt the best but I think I really understand it now. Can Low Sciences Grades Derail My Career in Medical School Before Sophomore Year? They care about your grades because they want a good future for you. Why the hell would I ever want to do this to someone else, over two decades later it can still make me sick to my stomach recalling what she did to me. I used to have suicide thoughts when I was little but I give up on that because of the internet that make me have a lot of online friends that supported me .I feel stupid sometimes because when I have negative thoughts there goes the positive pop out of no where .,. Strict parents, They are trying to shape me into what they want me to be, How to deal with teenagers?! Disassociate yourself from this family & find people who respect/love you for what you are. I wasn't able to have a childhood after, I believe i had a third sibling? Once she told me you will never be a boy so stop pretending to be one. Who knows what happened to them to want do that to me when I was a kid, the adults I'm talking about. I thought studying neuroscience was a amazing thing. One thing I can't believe is the stupidity I near from relatives and others i.e. The worst thing parents can do is to OVERPROTECT & INFANTILIZE children. You contact their professors, because you didn't like a grade/want to ask for clarification on an assignment/want to ask for an absence to be excused/want to ask for an extension on an assignment due date. I spend my entire time doing homework and sometimes i have so much that i just simply forget some pieces. Then I was expected to babysit my siblings and cousins full-time. Such parents demoralize their children in one way or another. Both my parents preferred me to work in any job, while I desperately tried to work out how to go beyond that; nobody in our extended family has a degree. My mother's parenting, somewhat pushy and demanding, came from the knowledge that life could be harsh and a well intentioned desire for her children to be tough and prepared for anything. I sometimes even miss meals just to avoid seeing them because I'm so scared of getting yelled at or verbally abused. Yesterday a coworker threatened to beat me up and shoot me. I feel much better letting some of my problems out OvO. There are either low cost or free counselling services. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Felt aweful. She went and sulked on me for days. I just want to let you know "anonymous" and "no account please" I think you are both really special and strong! Pls I need a word of encouragement from u. and if you ask me.. i dont care as much about grades, for me.. if i know that im good in that specific subject but i still get low grades it doesnt really matter to me. Find other relatives who love & care for you. Having said that this type of upbringing not only affected on me but on my siblings as well, it resulted in us constantly questioning our own capability. Now, it has gotten to a point where her own mother is reading the messages on her phone, which is a HUGE no-no for all parents. If you make it, who knows. But, now I am older and see the world different. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. and im scared to confront. But it's not enough for them!!! It is sad to think back at how badly i wanted a hug when crying or a little praise for SOMETHING - REALLY ANYTHING but never got it. However, it does quite the opposite, and many such children feel worthless. But when I get told that and try to do what I want I get a "No John, that's a terrible idea." Family Troubles-Parents Divorced, Low Grades, Feeling Alone? She now purposefully misgenders me and forces me to wear feminine clothes. it's making me go insane at this point, and i don't know what to do. I'm gonna turn 30 in a few years, and my relationship with my parents has continued like this for what feels like an eternity. But I runs in the family I guess. They taught me to shoot for the stars because if I . Thanks. I have some gear so ill start practicing without rest. I don't think she knows how to help me anymore. There are parents who feel that praise makes a child conceited. Most parents, unfortunately, have this mindset. Focus on building your child up and preaching positivity. You feel that whatever your sibling does for good or bad, you feel somehow that you are responsible for your sibling's actions when such isn't necessarily the case. I have never even had a girlfriend not that I'm ugly but timid I lack social skills to approach a lady. Children need praise in order to assess the positivity of their performance and to continue with such behavior. The creativity of a child multiplied by the pain their guardians put into their hearts felt like torture camp. Imagine a league of kids with low self confidence. Parents can affect their kids' grades and not always for the better. They believe that by comparing one child to another, the "errant" one will improve. Question: If you know that your father was from a family of people who homicidally hounded family members to suicide by crushing their self-esteem, is it normal to continue hating such a person until old age? Hard to tell what could be helpful so far. He obviously loves you. While some dreams are not based in reality and are unlikely to happen, the commitment to a positive approach to accomplishing tasks is a critical skill for a child to learn. Anxiety In Teenagers: What Should Teens And Parents Know? I know how bad it hurt when they did it to me. Not to even mention my life outside work. Question: My mom only cares about my grades more than me and is a control freak. She always calls me worthless and useless and occasionally she even hits me. It was how my mom and dad were raised. Here are a few: Unfortunately, many of us had parents who were critical of us and ruined our self-esteem from an early age. For example, like going to school. You call in the help phoned sometimes, but they are often kids or inexperienced I don't know I'm not passing judgment but we never click, I just end up getting disconnected. I've dreamed of being a country singer-songwriter my entire life but my mom has crushed my dreams at every turn. He thought I was just a real close friend of the family! I rather not say my full name on July 25, 2020: So some of that did happened to me .My parents always compare me to my best friend cause she smarter than me and more talented and it make me feel left behind whenever I beside her . Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on January 24, 2020: Speak to your mother & if she refuses to listen, you should speak to another relative or a school counselor. Sick of It. To Everyone being castigated , Blindsided . On the other hand, children who saw their parents as putting more emphasis on achievements over being kind to others were more likely to experience negative outcomes, such as depression, anxiety, lower self-esteem, behavior problems, criticism from parents, learning problemsand lower grades. Whenever I try to talk to them about how I feel, they yell at me. Please see a counsellor & DISASSOCIATE yourself from your "family." This all rings so true. That means they care about you. I have a "problem" i always get stressed in exams so i sometimes read questions in the wrong way, which leads to me getting low grades even though im good in that subject. Seek counselling so you can heal. When children enjoy learning, they become motivated to keep on learning. i want to be the wide reciever at school.mom says that i will never make it cause i knoe nothing about football. My mom didn't even practice with me. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. Question: After not being able to date and having your critical narcissistic mother and kind/go-along father force your career, marrying a violent man, would you say my problems stem from low self-esteem? But when I was on the baseball team my dad was manager my mom team mom. If you are old enough, implement ways to move away from your father. Ooof, I'm 26 and this read like the story of my life. Parents believe that they apply corrective measures because they care for their children. I think the other parents wanted them to practice with me but I was just a girl so they put me in left field. Well, continuous harping about mistakes to a child is tantamount to abuse. They feel that if their children are just like them, everything will be harmonious and stress-free. Real Example: We got our grades of the Chemistry exam today, i read the question wrong, i read Beta Particles instead of Alpha Particles, but i answered the question right if it was talking about Beta Particles so basically i answered it right, in a way. Crazily (or not), research shows that some of the best change happens in kids when their parents work more on themselves. I spent a full year wakibg up with panic attacks and anxiety but even after that they tell me i need to work harder. So everything mom say IS, WILL BE right. Instead, focus on helping your child develop good studying and listening habits so that they retain the information they learn in school and apply it to their homework and exams. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 20, 2018: Get help & DISASSOCIATE yourself from your family. How To Deal With Teenagers: How Bad Is Peer Pressure, And Can Parents Influence The Peer Group? What NOT to do if you are the parent of a college student. An extremely conscientious A student of average ability may have to study all night to obtain those A's while a C student of above-average ability may be bored with school and have a more relaxed attitude towards their studies. It's a shame stupidity isn't painful. This content is accurate and true to the best of the authors knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional. The only time my boyfriend takes care of the baby is for me to take a shower. Discover short videos related to parent only care about grades on TikTok. Im 10 and all of this has happend to me. I'm 13 and 6'2", makes me feel way too self conscious, Press J to jump to the feed. By secondary school I was under-performing and lacked confidence. Instead, parents should encourage their children to pursue their dreams and let them figure out if their dreams and goals are reachable or impossible. They're very emotionally and mentally abusive (They stopped the physical abuse once I reached 15). Often, the comparison does the opposite. In fact insecure people are the worst to have around. I hope Killing Myself would be better than living in meaningless life. They tell themselves that the child will appreciate this one day. They're not there to make your life worse. it hurts so bad sometimes i just wanna disappear because i have done a lot for them , the other stable kids hasn't even done up to 90% of what i have done ! One day I got a line drive for my glove as I was daydreaming out there but I moved my hand to miss because I thought it was going to hurt my hand. I cant wait until I get to leave but Ive still got to wait another 5 years. My parents also want me to live what they had planned on me told me that when i grow up I need to gave them some of my "money " to show respect for raising me so they gave me more tuition and that one of the reason i been stressed lately (which cause me had overthinking habits and overreacting) and my grade dropped so they called me useless , stupid instead of their favourite child (my third sister and the youngest ). but whenever i talk to them about these thoughts, they insist it's because i havent eaten properly. Second therapist is known locally for being pretty good. They've ruined most of my life & crushed my self-esteem. It is best for you to disassociate from him & his family. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 13, 2018: This article is right on point. Until my spirit was broken, I had a few good kicks as a kid. 1. I've watched my friends steal away the girl I love but can do nothing. But I don't feel I'm ready yet. Anyone raised by authoritarians like this becomes timid and submissive. Making mistakes is an integral part of a child's learning and growth process. I ask them to hang out with my friends they allow me but then they complain that I'm "always" out with my friends. I'm doing this for me. They're gonna make more money than me." that saounds toxic. Each child is unique. My parents were proud, but it seems that most of the love and hate I get from them comes from school-related material. Parents often believe it's their responsibility to motivate their kids to care about their grades. Parents refuse to acknowledge how insidious comparing children are for many children are emotionally, psychologically, & even psychically damaged by comparing them to other children. But for this a guiding hand makes a huge impact. Parents expect many things from their offspring, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades. I want the ability to defend myself from perverts. Question: Why does my father point out all my flaws? You are precious to God. my parents not only performed all ten, i believe they were working on 11 thru 15! (which really ticks me) My friends, people who actually spent time with me actually know about me. I just photoshopped my report card my entire highschool career. Shes caused me to have depression and take part in self harm. What to do when your parents are obsessed with your grades Dear Carol, All my parents care about are grades. You can't learn if you don't try. Children are still developing and they require a lot of positive attention and care, comparing them to others is not the correct way to go about it. No counselor/psychologist. Answer: No, but I suggest that you obtain psychiatric counselling and disassociate yourself from your father. My mom is the only one nice to me. And when I said "can I ask why" the world may have just exploded. Takedown request | View complete answer on hassaanhamid.medium.com No one to turn to. This led to stunted emotional development and made it hard to have a normal level of self-esteem. Answer: Your mother wants the best for you. Everybody got mad at me so I quit the team. (My parents make me feel dumb.). Mom keeps restricting me, nagging me if she doesn't satisfied with everything I did. I know my parents love me and they are trying to provide me with the best life they can but they are so controlling. These are the books we're crushing on this winter, 6 valuable lessons we learned from the Frog and Toad books, The difference between young adult and new adultand why it matters, Your step-by-step schedule for the ultimate New Year's Eve, 5 holiday dessert recipes you need to start making every year, 5 things to consider in your college search, Affordable birthday gifts your bestie will love, How to *actually* get stuff done when you're tired. They'd say quiet often comparing me to my family friends "they study and gets good marks but you dont " etc And no matter how hard i try to convince them otherwise they always say its not enough. They feel powerless and that others are more powerful than they are. It's sad that for a while I liked about where I worked and what I made. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. Watch popular content from the following creators: Mxc(@ventmxc), h mama(@tzomama), 11/08/21(@lostwithmarshy), ewww(@skinkycaca), my name is lani(@secretaccountt140), miles buchart(@milesnueman), DONT CALL ME CUTE I BEG U(@albedo_realwife), dump(@potatongina_00), Idk 2.0(@user266279192), cosmic (@if.ur.sad . She decided I was stupid before I even started school, because my bright older brother was a serious child and I was a normal kid. But of course my older sister and my mum constantly shout at me saying that i am going to fail all my exams, that i am hopeless and a disgrace. Answer: Discuss the matter thoroughly with your parents. Last report card, I got a C in math. I know they care about my education, but they hurt my feelings. I already told God and I know he's already helping me. A good strategy is to encourage children to develop their own personalities and voice. I can't even have a sleepover. you dont cry now i see why he does that because that is clearly abuse i still have scars on my body physical scars ! Parents Parents value grades over kindness, kids say in new study When your kid gets straight As, it's cause for a celebratory dinner out. This kind of negative speaking has made me just want to be alone forever. So marks for school always has to be 90% and up and nothing less. Instead, parents should encourage their children to develop a sense of independence and respect their authority at the same time. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 20, 2018: Are you the oldest of a large/very large family? She remembers everything I ever did in my life that she didn't like and throws it back at me. Answer: Discuss the matter with a relative & perhaps report your mother to a human services agency which deals with child abuse. I think it is important to consider that oftentimes parents were not ideally parented themselves and deserve some empathy and understanding too. If you want to tell them how you feel but cant do it in a conversation, write it in a note. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on February 02, 2018: Your parents shouldn't ground you but get you academic assistance until your grade improves. Are good grades more important than being nice? If that doesn't pan out, seek a counselor's help. I went to university despite her and worked in the IT sector. Probably because for my public school career I was bullied. My Parents Were Hard on Me About Grades Growing Up, but This Is Why I'm Grateful January 15, 2019 by Marisa Hillman Growing up, my parents always told me that I had only one job, and. Question: My parents are forcing me to attend school in my country when I know its not going to work out for me. So fuck it, lol. Just because a child does not have the same characteristics as their parents does not mean they are a failure that needs correcting. honestly, i could go on and on about how completely awful this family is but i rather not. But nope not to them. Obsessed With Fandoms on August 27, 2018: Well this explains a lot. Answer: There are parents who view their children as an extension of them instead of the individuals that they are. Last report card, I got a C in math. You are a worthwhile, beautiful person. Tell them you want to hear when theyre proud, not just when theyre disappointed. Parents who value achievement over kindness can have a negative impact on kids' development, study finds. Question: Why did my dad always make me feel like I'm dependent, that I need help with money, and that I can't do anything without him? Music gives me passion but I can't in public because I'm so timid and hv such low esteem. i know i do things wrong.but my self esteem is destroyes. Hey I am Fatima my mother is selecting her own opinion in my career she didn't give me any chance to study by my wish I Wana be in army but she don't understanding and she is doing what she wants what I do now? I hung out in my cave like room or over at my friend's house as a teen. We have received many stories and are working on animating them! But this psychologist stayed long enough for me to explain what I felt was important. Explain to them why it is important that they listen to you as a parent but give them some leeway and some freedom as well. But I don't really know what to do now Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 19, 2018: Please seek counselling I implore you. A place to put self-posts for discussion, questions, or anything else you like. These parents are totally soul-destroying and killing the dreams of a potential Picasso, Einstein, Mozart, and/or free thinker. Don't do it!Don't listen to those thoughts. I'm not saying it isn't tradgid, I'm asking how you can be surprised. my parents only care about my grades. And i often doubt whether my parents really love me. Why I haven't turned out so great and I don't want anything to do with one of my parents. Title says it all.. My parents only care about my grades. Trying to navigate through one's own life and become independent and happy while one's parents harass you with their expectations, agendas and emotional manipulation - to fulfill their own paternal and maternal desires and dreams - should be a focus for the World Health Organisation. Please seek psychological help. I joined the choir thinking it will help me boost my confidence but I've bn in the choir getting to a year hving never sang and I feel depressed and useless because I want to pursue music as a career but hw can I be a shy musician? Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 03, 2020: Talk to a trusted relative about this. My meds have stabilized my mood. How can I explain them that we are modern teenagers that want to have fun! He should have taken this up with his wife! When my grandma passed away in 2011, I felt no emotional connection or sorrow because she was never in my life and acted like she never wanted to. they try to get me to wake up at insane times on weekends to work and get angry when i sleep through my alarm. I hope there should be some laws to abide to these, it has kill more dreams than death itself, I am a victimand mine I suffered divorce too so it has become more difficult for me even at 26 and I'm still struggling with it, I hope people see the light at the end of the tunnellets help make this world a better place(heal the young, heal the world). i dont like the consequecenes. Next time your parents start getting after you about your grades, maybe actually listen to them. I did an IQ test at 17, and was told my IQ was 158. I'm turning 22 & I'm not even allowed to have sleepovers or go for sleepovers. Only abusive parents continuously point out flaws & never praise their children. Your father wants you to be subordinate to him in order to elevate his low self-esteem. Of course in the darkest moments, you think of hurting others.
my parents only care about my grades
My experience is coming from an alcoholic home and ending up with C-PTSD. I experience a few highs but many low points in life. This man & his family are toxic. I have terrible times at school and I have no friends to be there for me. Truth. Their overprotectiveness affects me in all areas of my life I can't associate with ppl, I can't make friend even in the choir, ppl say I'm rude and lack manners but I don't understand hw. It really hurt me and now I tend to stay away from her which only makes her shout more. All my parents care about are grades. Question: Why do my parents always scold me about my scars when I'm trying my best to remove them? My parents are all of these, which caused me to be suicidal since I was literally a child (I started thinking about it when I turned 8 I think). (I am also more fair skinned than anyone in the family but I look just like my dad who is the one I get my fairness from, mind you. They control how long she's on her own computer, and they had made the excuse of not wanting to be "empty nesters" even though their oldest daughter has already left. Question: I feel like my parents do not trust me. I'm in my late 20's and still trying to get through life. Parents must realize that children are individuals & that they DON'T OWN their children. Take care~, About 80% kids face these problems in India. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. It is extremely saddening that parents always think that they are doing the right things from 1-10 and are ignorant of the psychological effects that will forever imprint on the child future and well being. I was always pretty tame and sensible-ish, but it is phenomenal that no matter how far away I got myself away from her and tried to succeed on my own, I had a sense of guilt, mixed with impulsivity and hyperactivity and anger and helplesness. I knew that my mam wasnt the best but I think I really understand it now. Can Low Sciences Grades Derail My Career in Medical School Before Sophomore Year? They care about your grades because they want a good future for you. Why the hell would I ever want to do this to someone else, over two decades later it can still make me sick to my stomach recalling what she did to me. I used to have suicide thoughts when I was little but I give up on that because of the internet that make me have a lot of online friends that supported me .I feel stupid sometimes because when I have negative thoughts there goes the positive pop out of no where .,. Strict parents, They are trying to shape me into what they want me to be, How to deal with teenagers?! Disassociate yourself from this family & find people who respect/love you for what you are. I wasn't able to have a childhood after, I believe i had a third sibling? Once she told me you will never be a boy so stop pretending to be one. Who knows what happened to them to want do that to me when I was a kid, the adults I'm talking about. I thought studying neuroscience was a amazing thing. One thing I can't believe is the stupidity I near from relatives and others i.e. The worst thing parents can do is to OVERPROTECT & INFANTILIZE children. You contact their professors, because you didn't like a grade/want to ask for clarification on an assignment/want to ask for an absence to be excused/want to ask for an extension on an assignment due date. I spend my entire time doing homework and sometimes i have so much that i just simply forget some pieces. Then I was expected to babysit my siblings and cousins full-time. Such parents demoralize their children in one way or another. Both my parents preferred me to work in any job, while I desperately tried to work out how to go beyond that; nobody in our extended family has a degree. My mother's parenting, somewhat pushy and demanding, came from the knowledge that life could be harsh and a well intentioned desire for her children to be tough and prepared for anything. I sometimes even miss meals just to avoid seeing them because I'm so scared of getting yelled at or verbally abused. Yesterday a coworker threatened to beat me up and shoot me. I feel much better letting some of my problems out OvO. There are either low cost or free counselling services. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Felt aweful. She went and sulked on me for days. I just want to let you know "anonymous" and "no account please" I think you are both really special and strong! Pls I need a word of encouragement from u. and if you ask me.. i dont care as much about grades, for me.. if i know that im good in that specific subject but i still get low grades it doesnt really matter to me. Find other relatives who love & care for you. Having said that this type of upbringing not only affected on me but on my siblings as well, it resulted in us constantly questioning our own capability. Now, it has gotten to a point where her own mother is reading the messages on her phone, which is a HUGE no-no for all parents. If you make it, who knows. But, now I am older and see the world different. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. and im scared to confront. But it's not enough for them!!! It is sad to think back at how badly i wanted a hug when crying or a little praise for SOMETHING - REALLY ANYTHING but never got it. However, it does quite the opposite, and many such children feel worthless. But when I get told that and try to do what I want I get a "No John, that's a terrible idea." Family Troubles-Parents Divorced, Low Grades, Feeling Alone? She now purposefully misgenders me and forces me to wear feminine clothes. it's making me go insane at this point, and i don't know what to do. I'm gonna turn 30 in a few years, and my relationship with my parents has continued like this for what feels like an eternity. But I runs in the family I guess. They taught me to shoot for the stars because if I . Thanks. I have some gear so ill start practicing without rest. I don't think she knows how to help me anymore. There are parents who feel that praise makes a child conceited. Most parents, unfortunately, have this mindset. Focus on building your child up and preaching positivity. You feel that whatever your sibling does for good or bad, you feel somehow that you are responsible for your sibling's actions when such isn't necessarily the case. I have never even had a girlfriend not that I'm ugly but timid I lack social skills to approach a lady. Children need praise in order to assess the positivity of their performance and to continue with such behavior. The creativity of a child multiplied by the pain their guardians put into their hearts felt like torture camp. Imagine a league of kids with low self confidence. Parents can affect their kids' grades and not always for the better. They believe that by comparing one child to another, the "errant" one will improve. Question: If you know that your father was from a family of people who homicidally hounded family members to suicide by crushing their self-esteem, is it normal to continue hating such a person until old age? Hard to tell what could be helpful so far. He obviously loves you. While some dreams are not based in reality and are unlikely to happen, the commitment to a positive approach to accomplishing tasks is a critical skill for a child to learn. Anxiety In Teenagers: What Should Teens And Parents Know? I know how bad it hurt when they did it to me. Not to even mention my life outside work. Question: My mom only cares about my grades more than me and is a control freak. She always calls me worthless and useless and occasionally she even hits me. It was how my mom and dad were raised. Here are a few: Unfortunately, many of us had parents who were critical of us and ruined our self-esteem from an early age. For example, like going to school. You call in the help phoned sometimes, but they are often kids or inexperienced I don't know I'm not passing judgment but we never click, I just end up getting disconnected. I've dreamed of being a country singer-songwriter my entire life but my mom has crushed my dreams at every turn. He thought I was just a real close friend of the family! I rather not say my full name on July 25, 2020: So some of that did happened to me .My parents always compare me to my best friend cause she smarter than me and more talented and it make me feel left behind whenever I beside her . Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on January 24, 2020: Speak to your mother & if she refuses to listen, you should speak to another relative or a school counselor. Sick of It. To Everyone being castigated , Blindsided . On the other hand, children who saw their parents as putting more emphasis on achievements over being kind to others were more likely to experience negative outcomes, such as depression, anxiety, lower self-esteem, behavior problems, criticism from parents, learning problemsand lower grades. Whenever I try to talk to them about how I feel, they yell at me. Please see a counsellor & DISASSOCIATE yourself from your "family." This all rings so true. That means they care about you. I have a "problem" i always get stressed in exams so i sometimes read questions in the wrong way, which leads to me getting low grades even though im good in that subject. Seek counselling so you can heal. When children enjoy learning, they become motivated to keep on learning. i want to be the wide reciever at school.mom says that i will never make it cause i knoe nothing about football. My mom didn't even practice with me. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. Question: After not being able to date and having your critical narcissistic mother and kind/go-along father force your career, marrying a violent man, would you say my problems stem from low self-esteem? But when I was on the baseball team my dad was manager my mom team mom. If you are old enough, implement ways to move away from your father. Ooof, I'm 26 and this read like the story of my life. Parents believe that they apply corrective measures because they care for their children. I think the other parents wanted them to practice with me but I was just a girl so they put me in left field. Well, continuous harping about mistakes to a child is tantamount to abuse. They feel that if their children are just like them, everything will be harmonious and stress-free. Real Example: We got our grades of the Chemistry exam today, i read the question wrong, i read Beta Particles instead of Alpha Particles, but i answered the question right if it was talking about Beta Particles so basically i answered it right, in a way. Crazily (or not), research shows that some of the best change happens in kids when their parents work more on themselves. I spent a full year wakibg up with panic attacks and anxiety but even after that they tell me i need to work harder. So everything mom say IS, WILL BE right. Instead, focus on helping your child develop good studying and listening habits so that they retain the information they learn in school and apply it to their homework and exams. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 20, 2018: Get help & DISASSOCIATE yourself from your family. How To Deal With Teenagers: How Bad Is Peer Pressure, And Can Parents Influence The Peer Group? What NOT to do if you are the parent of a college student. An extremely conscientious A student of average ability may have to study all night to obtain those A's while a C student of above-average ability may be bored with school and have a more relaxed attitude towards their studies. It's a shame stupidity isn't painful. This content is accurate and true to the best of the authors knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional. The only time my boyfriend takes care of the baby is for me to take a shower. Discover short videos related to parent only care about grades on TikTok. Im 10 and all of this has happend to me. I'm 13 and 6'2", makes me feel way too self conscious, Press J to jump to the feed. By secondary school I was under-performing and lacked confidence. Instead, parents should encourage their children to pursue their dreams and let them figure out if their dreams and goals are reachable or impossible. They're very emotionally and mentally abusive (They stopped the physical abuse once I reached 15). Often, the comparison does the opposite. In fact insecure people are the worst to have around. I hope Killing Myself would be better than living in meaningless life. They tell themselves that the child will appreciate this one day. They're not there to make your life worse. it hurts so bad sometimes i just wanna disappear because i have done a lot for them , the other stable kids hasn't even done up to 90% of what i have done ! One day I got a line drive for my glove as I was daydreaming out there but I moved my hand to miss because I thought it was going to hurt my hand. I cant wait until I get to leave but Ive still got to wait another 5 years. My parents also want me to live what they had planned on me told me that when i grow up I need to gave them some of my "money " to show respect for raising me so they gave me more tuition and that one of the reason i been stressed lately (which cause me had overthinking habits and overreacting) and my grade dropped so they called me useless , stupid instead of their favourite child (my third sister and the youngest ). but whenever i talk to them about these thoughts, they insist it's because i havent eaten properly. Second therapist is known locally for being pretty good. They've ruined most of my life & crushed my self-esteem. It is best for you to disassociate from him & his family. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 13, 2018: This article is right on point. Until my spirit was broken, I had a few good kicks as a kid. 1. I've watched my friends steal away the girl I love but can do nothing. But I don't feel I'm ready yet. Anyone raised by authoritarians like this becomes timid and submissive. Making mistakes is an integral part of a child's learning and growth process. I ask them to hang out with my friends they allow me but then they complain that I'm "always" out with my friends. I'm doing this for me. They're gonna make more money than me." that saounds toxic. Each child is unique. My parents were proud, but it seems that most of the love and hate I get from them comes from school-related material. Parents often believe it's their responsibility to motivate their kids to care about their grades. Parents refuse to acknowledge how insidious comparing children are for many children are emotionally, psychologically, & even psychically damaged by comparing them to other children. But for this a guiding hand makes a huge impact. Parents expect many things from their offspring, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades. I want the ability to defend myself from perverts. Question: Why does my father point out all my flaws? You are precious to God. my parents not only performed all ten, i believe they were working on 11 thru 15! (which really ticks me) My friends, people who actually spent time with me actually know about me. I just photoshopped my report card my entire highschool career. Shes caused me to have depression and take part in self harm. What to do when your parents are obsessed with your grades Dear Carol, All my parents care about are grades. You can't learn if you don't try. Children are still developing and they require a lot of positive attention and care, comparing them to others is not the correct way to go about it. No counselor/psychologist. Answer: No, but I suggest that you obtain psychiatric counselling and disassociate yourself from your father. My mom is the only one nice to me. And when I said "can I ask why" the world may have just exploded. Takedown request | View complete answer on hassaanhamid.medium.com No one to turn to. This led to stunted emotional development and made it hard to have a normal level of self-esteem. Answer: Your mother wants the best for you. Everybody got mad at me so I quit the team. (My parents make me feel dumb.). Mom keeps restricting me, nagging me if she doesn't satisfied with everything I did. I know my parents love me and they are trying to provide me with the best life they can but they are so controlling. These are the books we're crushing on this winter, 6 valuable lessons we learned from the Frog and Toad books, The difference between young adult and new adultand why it matters, Your step-by-step schedule for the ultimate New Year's Eve, 5 holiday dessert recipes you need to start making every year, 5 things to consider in your college search, Affordable birthday gifts your bestie will love, How to *actually* get stuff done when you're tired. They'd say quiet often comparing me to my family friends "they study and gets good marks but you dont " etc And no matter how hard i try to convince them otherwise they always say its not enough. They feel powerless and that others are more powerful than they are. It's sad that for a while I liked about where I worked and what I made. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. Watch popular content from the following creators: Mxc(@ventmxc), h mama(@tzomama), 11/08/21(@lostwithmarshy), ewww(@skinkycaca), my name is lani(@secretaccountt140), miles buchart(@milesnueman), DONT CALL ME CUTE I BEG U(@albedo_realwife), dump(@potatongina_00), Idk 2.0(@user266279192), cosmic (@if.ur.sad . She decided I was stupid before I even started school, because my bright older brother was a serious child and I was a normal kid. But of course my older sister and my mum constantly shout at me saying that i am going to fail all my exams, that i am hopeless and a disgrace. Answer: Discuss the matter thoroughly with your parents. Last report card, I got a C in math. I know they care about my education, but they hurt my feelings. I already told God and I know he's already helping me. A good strategy is to encourage children to develop their own personalities and voice. I can't even have a sleepover. you dont cry now i see why he does that because that is clearly abuse i still have scars on my body physical scars ! Parents Parents value grades over kindness, kids say in new study When your kid gets straight As, it's cause for a celebratory dinner out. This kind of negative speaking has made me just want to be alone forever. So marks for school always has to be 90% and up and nothing less. Instead, parents should encourage their children to develop a sense of independence and respect their authority at the same time. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 20, 2018: Are you the oldest of a large/very large family? She remembers everything I ever did in my life that she didn't like and throws it back at me. Answer: Discuss the matter with a relative & perhaps report your mother to a human services agency which deals with child abuse. I think it is important to consider that oftentimes parents were not ideally parented themselves and deserve some empathy and understanding too. If you want to tell them how you feel but cant do it in a conversation, write it in a note. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on February 02, 2018: Your parents shouldn't ground you but get you academic assistance until your grade improves. Are good grades more important than being nice? If that doesn't pan out, seek a counselor's help. I went to university despite her and worked in the IT sector. Probably because for my public school career I was bullied. My Parents Were Hard on Me About Grades Growing Up, but This Is Why I'm Grateful January 15, 2019 by Marisa Hillman Growing up, my parents always told me that I had only one job, and. Question: My parents are forcing me to attend school in my country when I know its not going to work out for me. So fuck it, lol. Just because a child does not have the same characteristics as their parents does not mean they are a failure that needs correcting. honestly, i could go on and on about how completely awful this family is but i rather not. But nope not to them. Obsessed With Fandoms on August 27, 2018: Well this explains a lot. Answer: There are parents who view their children as an extension of them instead of the individuals that they are. Last report card, I got a C in math. You are a worthwhile, beautiful person. Tell them you want to hear when theyre proud, not just when theyre disappointed. Parents who value achievement over kindness can have a negative impact on kids' development, study finds. Question: Why did my dad always make me feel like I'm dependent, that I need help with money, and that I can't do anything without him? Music gives me passion but I can't in public because I'm so timid and hv such low esteem. i know i do things wrong.but my self esteem is destroyes. Hey I am Fatima my mother is selecting her own opinion in my career she didn't give me any chance to study by my wish I Wana be in army but she don't understanding and she is doing what she wants what I do now? I hung out in my cave like room or over at my friend's house as a teen. We have received many stories and are working on animating them! But this psychologist stayed long enough for me to explain what I felt was important. Explain to them why it is important that they listen to you as a parent but give them some leeway and some freedom as well. But I don't really know what to do now Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 19, 2018: Please seek counselling I implore you. A place to put self-posts for discussion, questions, or anything else you like. These parents are totally soul-destroying and killing the dreams of a potential Picasso, Einstein, Mozart, and/or free thinker. Don't do it!Don't listen to those thoughts. I'm not saying it isn't tradgid, I'm asking how you can be surprised. my parents only care about my grades. And i often doubt whether my parents really love me. Why I haven't turned out so great and I don't want anything to do with one of my parents. Title says it all.. My parents only care about my grades. Trying to navigate through one's own life and become independent and happy while one's parents harass you with their expectations, agendas and emotional manipulation - to fulfill their own paternal and maternal desires and dreams - should be a focus for the World Health Organisation. Please seek psychological help. I joined the choir thinking it will help me boost my confidence but I've bn in the choir getting to a year hving never sang and I feel depressed and useless because I want to pursue music as a career but hw can I be a shy musician? Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 03, 2020: Talk to a trusted relative about this. My meds have stabilized my mood. How can I explain them that we are modern teenagers that want to have fun! He should have taken this up with his wife! When my grandma passed away in 2011, I felt no emotional connection or sorrow because she was never in my life and acted like she never wanted to. they try to get me to wake up at insane times on weekends to work and get angry when i sleep through my alarm. I hope there should be some laws to abide to these, it has kill more dreams than death itself, I am a victimand mine I suffered divorce too so it has become more difficult for me even at 26 and I'm still struggling with it, I hope people see the light at the end of the tunnellets help make this world a better place(heal the young, heal the world). i dont like the consequecenes. Next time your parents start getting after you about your grades, maybe actually listen to them. I did an IQ test at 17, and was told my IQ was 158. I'm turning 22 & I'm not even allowed to have sleepovers or go for sleepovers. Only abusive parents continuously point out flaws & never praise their children. Your father wants you to be subordinate to him in order to elevate his low self-esteem. Of course in the darkest moments, you think of hurting others.
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